Liquid Courage
by VAfanfiction
Summary: After Mason's death, Dimitri finds a drunk Rose, who ends up revealing a lot more to him than he could ever imagine. (One-Shot)


**This is a one-shot that I had in mind for quite some time now. Its in Dimitri's POV and is set after Frostbite. Though there are no strong sexual parts in the story, it is slightly discussed, which is why I have it an M-rating. Also, I am almost done the next chapter for 'She-Wolf' so I should be uploading that this weekend, as well. Enjoy**!

 **Disclaimer- All characters and plot are owned by Richelle Mead**

I made my rounds around the academy grounds. My shift was supposed to be ending in 30 minutes, but it had flown by since my thoughts were otherwise occupied. And they were occupied by the one person who had ruled every aspect of my life since I found her in Oregon. Rose. My Roza.

There was a time, even after the night of the lust charm, where I believed I could keep my feelings for her at bay. After all, we were both the sanctioned guardians for the last remaining Dragromir, Princess Vasilissa. But that all changed two weeks ago after I found Rose in Spokane, broken and guilt-ridden over the death of her childhood best friend, Mason.

Granted, my feelings for her took reign when I had first discovered that she was missing. It wasn't until I realized that I was far more concerned about the well-being of Rose, than I was about the two Moroi that were with her, that I accepted just how much she really meant to me.

It was also the reason where I admitted to Rose that I couldn't accept Tasha's offer, because she was the one who had my heart. We weren't going to act on our feelings, I wouldn't allow it, but it felt freeing knowing that we both came to terms about what we meant to each other.  
It was also why I was so worried about Rose. The death of Mason hit her hard and it was something I knew she wasn't going to be getting over anytime soon, no matter how strong she pretended to be in front of the rest of her friends. I made sure to walk by her room before and after my shifts and would almost always hear her crying. I also noticed how red and slightly swollen her eyes would look once she would come to our training sessions. But Rose was a lot like me, and I knew she didn't want her weakness pointed out. So I kept my mouth shut, and refused to treat her with kid gloves, because frankly, she would kick my ass if I did.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Yuri, who came to take relive me from my shift. Before I left, he called me back.

"Belikov, I got a noise complaint from Prince Ivashkov's room right before I got out here. I'm assuming the Princess is probably there, too. Mind checking it out for me?" He said pointedly. Yuri was one of the few guardians who I was close with at the academy. The way he said it, let me know it was important for me to be the one to break up whatever was going on in Adrian's room. I nodded, letting him know I would check it out and walked towards guest housing.

I had a bad feeling about what I would find once I got there. If the Princess was indeed in the room, then there was a strong possibility Rose was, too. And if she was, then I needed to hurry and get her back to her dorm before another guardian or dorm matron alerted Kirova of Rose breaking curfew. I refused to let Rose screw anything up for herself.

I made it to Adrian's room and knocked twice on his door. My dhampir hearing picked up the sound of two different people giggling, and a sound of someone running into the door and grunting.

A tipsy Adrian, reeking of cloves and alcohol, opened the door and smirked in my direction. He opened the door further revealing an equally tipsy Vasilissa and Rose giggling away on the couch, a half-empty bottle of Peach Vodka between them.

"Guess the party is over ladies," he said, turning around stumbling back to the girls. Rose turned her head around and her eyes widened after seeing me. I was fuming. I knew Rose was upset, she had gone through something traumatic, but I didn't think she would do something as stupid as drinking after curfew in Adrian Ivashkov's room. She gulped nervously taking in my stiff posture and pissed off glare.

"I-I-I can explain," I put my hand up to stop her and turned towards the Princess.

"It is past curfew and alcohol is forbidden on school premises. The two of you need to come with me." The Princess quickly stood and stumbled into Rose, and the two began giggling again. Oh hell no.

"Ladies," I lightly growled. Their laughter immediately ended and they abruptly shut their mouths. "Hurry up and follow me, before someone else finds the two of you and you end up getting in even more trouble."

I didn't wait for a response and walked out of the room. Sure enough, I heard two sets of footsteps following me. I was seething with anger so I knew if looked back, I would end up snapping at both of the girls.

I walked quickly towards Moroi housing to drop Vasilissa off. I knew my strides must be difficult for the girls to keep up with, especially with their drunken state, but they could run if they needed to.

I was able to take the side door into the dorms, so we wouldn't pass the dorm matrons at the front desk. I made it to her door a few seconds before the girls came stumbling after me.

"I-I'm sorry Guardian Belikov, please don't be too hard on Rose! It was my idea." She spoke quickly. Even though Rose was viewed by the school as being the reckless and wild one, I knew she would never be the one to encourage Vasilissa to do something that could jeapordize her future. I just thought she would have enough common sense to say no.

I completely ignored what the blond girl in front of me said, and instead curtly replied, "Good night Princess," before I turned away and walked towards the Dhampir dorms. Once again, I refused to look at Rose until we reached her room and where I knew I would safely be able to voice my anger towards her. I knew she was keeping up with me. A million thoughts were running through my mind. What if someone else had found them in that room? Why was she in Ivashkov's room in the first place? Why the hell was she drinking?

I was momentarily pulled out of my thoughts when I no longer heard Rose behind me. I turned around and saw her staring expectantly at a light post. She kept looking up at it as if it would suddenly give her all of the answers she was looking for.

Annoyed, I walked the few steps back towards her. "Rose, lets go."

"Tell him to move."

"Tell who to move?" I asked, more confused than anything.

Rose looked at me as if I was stupid and gestured towards the light post. "Him."

I looked at her as if she had grown three heads. How drunk was she?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Rose, just walk around it."

"It?" She turned back to the light post. "He didn't mean that, he's just a little upset right now," she said, apologizing to the light post on my behalf.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing myself to stay calm. "Rose, it is late, I just finished a double shift and I am tired. Now lets go!" I practically barked at her, before grabbing her hand and pulling her not so gently behind me.

"See ya!" She waved at the damn light post, sounding way to chipper for her own good.  
Just like I did with the Princess, I got Rose and myself through the side door of the Dhampir building and took the steps two at a time, until I reached the third floor where Rose's room was located. I let go of her hand to walk ahead of her and open her door with my set of guardian-issued keys. I opened her door and turned around, urging Rose forward, who was currently walking at such a leisurely pace, that you would think she was at the park instead of her hallway past curfew.

"Rose!" I whispered harshly, losing my patience. She quickly looked up and her eyes widened.  
"Oh my god, did you hear that?" She whispered back, urgently. For a second, I thought she might have seriously heard something that I hadn't. Rose slowly looked around, and waited for the noise to come up again. I waited a few more seconds, also waiting. When we heard nothing, I spoke again.

"Rose, let's go."

"There it is again!" She panicked.

I groaned out loud. "Rose that's me! Its my voice that you're hearing."

"Oh, why didn't you say so silly?" She said, losing her panicked and stiff posture and walking through her door smiling widely at me. Dear Lord, help me.

Rose plopped down on her bed and had a giggling fit when she bounced on the bed a couple of times.  
Now that we were safely in her room, I could rip into her the way I wanted to since I found her in Adrian's room.

"Rose," I said, trying to get her attention. She either didn't hear me or ignored me completely. She sat up and started bouncing on the bed again. "Rose," I repeated myself, my anger pushing its way to the surface. "Rose!" I all but screamed at her. She abruptly stopped her bouncing and looked at me, as if noticing me for the first time in her room.

"Hey, when did you get here?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

I walked up to Rose, and crouched down so my face was leveled with hers. "Rose, what the hell were you thinking drinking? Past curfew? With Adrian, of all people?!" She was going to give me the answers I wanted if it's the last thing she did. She also needed to see how seriously stupid it was what she did tonight.

"Ugh Comrade, I just had a few drinks. You should be happy. I chose Vodka, the drink of your people." She said, as if that was supposed to make up for what she did. "Rose, this is not a joke. Why the hell were you drinking?" I asked again. She looked down at here lap, her forehead creasing. "Rose," I said more softly, going with another approach, "What's going on, Rose?"

At first she shook her head, refusing to look my way or answer my question. I gently grabbed her chin and made her look at me.

"Tell me, Rose," I softly urged her.

"I just miss him Dimitri," she spoke quietly. "I can't sleep at night, I can't concentrate on anything. Everywhere I look, I see his lifeless eyes, looking at me. I just wanted to forget for a little while." Her voice broke at the end, as she sniffed. My heart clenched at her confession as I wiped away the few tears that escaped her eyes.

"Oh Roza," I said, sitting down next to her and grabbing a hold of her hands. "I know it's hard. I'm not going to lie to you and say the pain will just go away. It'll stay with you for a long time. But what you did tonight, it wasn't you. Do you understand how irresponsible it was to be drinking on school premises with the Princess? What if someone else had found you?" I needed her to understand how reckless her actions had been tonight.

She groaned and pulled her hands away from my grasp, laying back down on the bed. She looked at me for a long while, and for a moment I had thought her drunken state had completely forgotten what I just asked her.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered. "I don't want you to be upset with me. I hate it when you're upset with me."

"I don't like being upset with you either Rose, which is why I hate when you put yourself in these types of situations." I told her.

Rose got quiet once again, and she slowly looked me over. Her eyes shifted, giving me the feeling that the night was about to take a different turn. The look she was giving me was starting to make me uncomfortable. It's like her eyes were looking past my skin and clothes and boring into my soul. I shifted on the bed, suddenly wondering if I should leave or not.

Finally she spoke. "Do you know how hard it is?"

I looked at her curiously, wanting her to explain further.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I could still smell the alcohol on her breath. "Its so hard Dimitri. Being around you. Controlling myself." She opened her eyes again, looking right into my eyes. This confession shocked me even more.

"Rose I-"

She cut me off, "I know, I know. We can't and I'm really sorry Comrade." She said, looking up at me with guilt in her eyes.

"Why Rose?"

"I'm sorry I always push you. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to constantly control yourself around me, especially since I don't make it easy for you," She explained. She definitely didn't make it easy for me. Sometimes, she would wear the tightest and shortest clothes to workout in and I knew she did it just to get a rise out of me.

"You really don't Rose," I replied.

"I know, and I really am sorry." She hesitated before continuing. "You also shouldn't worry, you know. About other guys." She clarified.

"I shouldn't?"

"No, they don't mean anything to me. They aren't you." Even though Rose and I's feelings were open and known to each other, we rarely ever spoke so intimately with another about them. We knew we cared about each other, and our actions spoke louder than our words.

"Then why did you flirt with Adrian at the resort? And why did I just find you in his room?" I wouldn't have ever asked Rose this, but her being drunk was somehow giving me liquid courage.

"I only went there, because Lissa made me! I would never go there alone," she explained. "As for the resort, I guess I was just trying to get you jealous after I saw you there with Tasha."

"You know I only have eyes for you, Roza," I told her, even though she already knew that.

She smiled softly at me, and grabbed a hold of my hand. Her fingers brushed back and forth across my knuckles and shiver ran down my spine, caused by such a simple touch.

"Do you want to know a secret?" She whispered quietly. I hadn't forgotten that she was still drunk and probably had something silly to admit to me.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, humoring her.

She paused for a few, long seconds, before continuing.

"I touch myself thinking of you," She said so quietly, that if I hadn't been paying attention to her, than I might have missed it.

My body suddenly heated up at her words and I felt myself hardening at her confession. I shifted again, trying to get myself into a position where my arousal wasn't so blatantly obvious to Rose.

"After the night of the lust charm, I couldn't stop thinking about you. About us." She stopped running her fingers across my knuckles and gripped my hand tight. She placed my finger on her lips and I could feel her warm breath moistening up my pointer finger. "You started here," her hand guided mine to her neck where she lightly tightened both of our hands around it, "then you made your way here."

My breathing picked up, as did Rose's. I remembered that night vividly, and I knew exactly what part of her body I touched.

She slowly guided my hands down her chest until we reached the center of her breasts. "You spent a lot of time here. Didn't you Dimitri?"

I grunted in response. My erection was pushing painfully against my jeans and I was beyond caring if Rose noticed or not.

Rose splayed our fingers and I could feel the swell of her breasts against my fingertips. I closed my eyes tight, fighting the urge to grab a hold of her breasts and enjoy my time with them like I did the night of the lust charm.

"I always start over here, because I remembered how much you enjoyed this part of my body." She whispered erotically. Rose continued our exploration of her body. She dragged my hand across her toned and flat stomach until I reached her leggings-covered mound. I could feel warmth radiating off of Rose's soft center on my hand and could only imagine if she was as aroused as I was. " And then I always end up here. You know, you were the first person to ever see me naked. You were the first man to ever touch me here." She turned my hand around so my fingers were pointing down and placed it between the center of her legs.

"Roza," I said gruffly, finally finding my voice after the exploration of Rose's body. I needed to stay in control. I had to remind myself that she was under the influence of alcohol and doing anything right now would be equivalent to me taking advantage of her.

"Do you ever touch yourself thinking of me, Dimitri?" She looked up at. I didn't want to answer her. This had already gone too far, but I felt like her eyes were compelling me to tell her the truth.

"Yes," I whispered, wanting nothing more than to show her how much she physically affected me.

She smiled in response and suddenly the hand that was pressed against her warm heat was placed against her lips again. Thank goodness, because I was two seconds away from moving my fingers and circling them against her sex. Rose placed a soft kiss against the palm of my hand and closed her eyes. She pulled my hand away again, to continue speaking.

"I have hope for us Dimitri. There is no way that two people who feel so much for each other don't end up together. The universe won't allow us to stay apart."

"I sure hope so, Roza," I replied, praying that that actually did come true. Tonight just proved how difficult it was for me to ignore my feelings for Rose.

I could see Rose's eyes getting heavy. The alcohol must be catching up to her and I knew our conversation for tonight was over. I walked to her bathroom and took out a two advils and placed them on her side table, along with a water bottle. I purposely placed an alarm on her clock for our training session, because I had a punishment in store for her actions early tonight.

I took off Rose's shoes and socks off her feet as she kept nodding off. I tucked the blanket over her tired and beautiful form, before leaning down and placing a soft and lingering kiss on her forehead. I wanted so badly to move a couple of inches down and capture her pouty lips between my own, but I forced myself away from her.

"Goodnight Roza," I said softly, stepping away and noticing she had already fallen asleep. I turned the light off and made my way to back to my room.  
Though my arousal lessened a little, I knew I would need to take the problem into my own hands once again tonight, just like I had admitted to Rose. And the one to help me to my completion would be the sleeping girl I just walked away from.

The next morning, Rose showed up only two minutes late to practice. She wouldn't look me in the eyes, which had bags underneath them from her obvious hangover and lack of sleep. The liquid courage that she and I both got last night from her drinking was gone, but the remnants of the conversation still remained.

Her nervousness proved to me that she remembered every detail of our conversation last night. I knew we wouldn't discuss what she and I revealed, but I knew we had crossed over threshold in our relationship and were another step closer to finally letting go.


End file.
